Singer, songwriter, and all around most talented performer of our time, Kanye West, who has already gifted the planet with his presence, has once again raised the bar on philanthropy. In the fall semester of this academic year, the gracious superstar will donate a little piece of his glorious empire to Presbyterian College in the form of a life-sized bronze statue of the greatest rapper on earth: himself.

Once while on a tour through the southeast, Mr. West got a fleeting glimpse of our campus. While he was immensely impressed with the classically designed buildings and profusion of greenery, he felt that something was missing. “What this campus needs is a new statue that will inspire them to reach greater academic heights.”  He said as he passed by the majestic view of Neville Hall in his white stretch hummer. The new statue will take the place of the Human Link in front of Greenville Dining Hall.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are meant in jest and should not be taken seriously. All quotes should be assumed falsified and should not be held agains the alleged speaker. This article is part of the BlueStocking’s April Fools Holiday prank and does not necessarily reflect the direct views of Presbyterian College or of the BlueStocking Newspaper. Thanks for caring enough to read the disclaimer. Merry belated April Fools to you, kind sir!