Maintenance Employee Resigns: “There’s not Much Work to do Around Here”
April 1, 2013
In a statement that has many scratching their heads, PC maintenance employee Ken Ruffman announced his intentions to leave the staff.
“With the routine investments in upgrades and technology, PC’s campus is now at a point where it basically runs itself,” observed Ruffman, in an exclusive interview with the BlueStocking. “I hate to be the one to tell admin what to do, but from a maintenance standpoint, there’s not much work to do around here!”
Students living in Georgia are trying to bring Ruffman before the Honor Council with charges of blatant misrepresentation of the patently obvious. “Has he no eyes to see? No nose with which to smell?!” speculated one Georgia resident, who opted to remain anonymous.
Preliminary depositions for the “Blatant Misrepresentation” trial are scheduled for next week.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are meant in jest and should not be taken seriously. All quotes should be assumed falsified and should not be held agains the alleged speaker. This article is part of the BlueStocking’s April Fools Holiday prank and does not necessarily reflect the direct views of Presbyterian College or of the BlueStocking Newspaper. Thanks for caring enough to read the disclaimer. Merry belated April Fools to you, kind sir!
Trouble Maker • Apr 2, 2013 at 10:22 pm
Apparently president Lilly gave the maintenance staff plenty to do this morning though–tearing down fliers with April Fools Headlines.
What about free speech??!!!